Django Unchained *SPOILERS*

Kerry Washington in Django Unchained

I finally saw Django Unchained this weekend. I am glad to report that at the showing I went to (at the 4-Star Theatre in San Francisco), there was no inappropriate laughter at the dynamite scene like Cord Jefferson encountered. There is a lot of dark, violent humor in this movie that got lots of laughs, but that scene wasn't it, and rightfully so. 

By turns hilarious and heartbreaking, Django Unchained gets right down to business in the opening. Dr. King Schultz, in his ridiculous traveling dentist wagon pulled by his horse Fritz, meets two slavers and their latest "purchases." He is determined to speak to a slave called Django. Soon the slavers are dead and Django is off with Schultz, a bounty hunter who needs his help finding a trio of white plantation workers. As the two men get to know each other, Django reveals his plans to free his wife from slavery, and Schultz decides to help him.

Christoph Waltz's dentist-turned-bounty-hunter Dr. Schultz is an interesting character. He's fine with shooting down a man in front of his young son, but fairly naive to the horrors of slavery. I thought it was interesting that after his star-making turn in his last Quentin Tarantino film as a Nazi, in this film his desire to help Django rescue his wife from slavery is rooted in his German identity: here is a Siegfried on a quest to save Brunhilde from the dragon, and he must assist. 

As Django, Jamie Foxx makes a glorious hero/anti-hero. His loyalty to his wife is absolute, and his tenderness for her is revealed in his daydreams. He is understandably wary at first in his new "free" world, but you can always sense that confidence and cunning in the background, just waiting for the right moment. And boy, does that moment arrive.

Django and a "special guest."

Broomhilda was the role that everyone was worried about, and well... Kerry Washington is great, but we learn very little about her character. We either see her as Django's mirage (in a gorgeous yellow silk empire-waist dress, naked in a lake, etc.) or being tortured (whipped, branded, locked naked in a hot box). I wrote way back in May about Kara Walker's artwork and the then-forthcoming Django Unchained. Now that the movie's out, I think Broomhilda's depiction was not as bad as it could have been and not as good as it could have been. 

Broomhilda is tortured like Walker's female figures, but we learn little of her psyche. I get that she's the "princess on the mountain," but that's the age-old cop-out, and telling us more about her would have helped, not hurt, the story. Really, all they needed was a flashback scene showing her in non-mirage, non-tortured form. There are already multiple flashback scenes, and one with Broomhilda and Django in happier (relatively) times could have given us some insight into who Broomhilda is and what their marriage is. That said, Washington brought anguish, strength, and the blush of love to the role, and her expressive face helps make up for her lack of lines.

Stephen, Broomhilda, and Cora in Candieland's kitchen.

Speaking of Walker, the one scene that brought her work most to my mind was when Django, in his ridiculous Blue Boy get-up, walks past slave women languidly rocking on swings on his way to kill two men who assaulted him and Broomhilda and who are about to whip another slave. The scene captures the juxtaposition between the natural beauty of the South, the formality of the clothes, and the absolute hideousness of the social system. (BTW, here is an interview with the film's costume designer, Sharen Davis. I hope she finally gets that Oscar!)

And that social system is hideous, and presented in all its dysfunction in the Candie household: depraved, deluded Calvin Candie, who justifies his treatment of slaves with phrenology and admires Alexandre Dumas (whom he doesn't know was the grandson of a black slave); Bligh-like chief of staff Stephen, who proves his loyalty to co-dependent Candie with his harsh treatment of fellow slaves; Lara Lee, Candie's Southern belle sister who surveys and partakes in the inhumanity around her with ladylike giggles; Sheba, a slave who is also Candie's dressed-to-the-nines mistress; Cora, Lara Lee's experienced maid; and Moguy, a groveling yes-man pretty much raised from birth to be Candie's lawyer. 

There's slashfic, isn't there? Not even gonna look, just gonna invoke Rule 34.

The plantation is a structure built to support and benefit Candie, and everyone else exists at his whim. Some fare terribly, like slave D'Artagnan, murdered by dogs, and Broomhilda, used to sexually "reward" slaves and guests alike. Some simply exist in their relatively-privileged-but-not-powerful status quo, like the lowest-level white workers. Stephen, meanwhile, has positioned himself as the Iago of a Richard III. He's quick to object to any questioning of Candie's authority, yet is an expert at communicating "you listen to me, boy" to him without saying anything as overt as "you listen to me, boy." But his "power" has come at an awful price, and even he could be disposed of by his Calvin in an instant.

As with Broomhilda, we could have learned more, even via tidbits, about Sheba and Cora. We learned more about Moguy than about them. The most we get from Cora is the none-too-plaintive tone of her voice when Django tells her to say goodbye to Lara Lee. Sheba's confidence in her standing with Calvin contrasted with Stephen telling her to help with the coffee after Calvin's funeral adds intrigue and suggests how precarious her position is. 

After the first shoot-out in Candieland's Big House, I was really pissed at and disappointed in Schultz. All you had to do was shake Leo's hand and y'all would have been out of there safe and sound! The Caddy was waiting for you! But no, Dr. Schultz has to be all, "Nope, no way I'm leaving here without shooting this representation of the Antebellum South's rich white male privilege!" Because of his actions, he dies and Django and Broomhilda suffer more. But, by the end of the movie, I saw why it had to happen. Django Unchained isn't a realistic drama about a man and woman being freed from slavery within the nation's then-laws. Django and Schultz can't work within the system they despise. When Django violently levels the plantation, it's just as much about symbolically destroying the institution of slavery as it is revenge against individuals. 

Random notes:

-Dr. Schultz's coat. I had lusted after this coat long ago with production stills, and as soon as Christoph Waltz showed up I fell in love all over again. I love this coat. According to the above linked interview with Sharen Davis, it is an "Inverness cape coat."

-The bouncing tooth. OMG. Why was it important that Schultz was previously a dentist? I don't know (if it's so he can be "Dr. King," then ew), but I loved the tooth. 

-As a former horseback rider, I kept hoping they'd explain how Django, who was supposedly not allowed to ride before, is able to get on a horse and go. But, considering Django's also an immediate straight-shooter and weapons expert, you've just gotta take it with a grain of salt. By the time he hops on a bridleless palomino and rides off confidently on a rescue mission, it's clear the movie has just decided he's a badass who can do what he wants at this point. And Foxx totally sells it with his determination. If he has to ride horses and be an expert shot to save Broomhilda, that's what he's going to do. 

Django & Schultz on their horses Tony & Fritz.

-The Ku Klux Klan scene. I had seen this scene compared to Blazing Saddles beforehand, and it didn't disappoint. It is a hilarious kick to the balls of The Birth of a Nation. Sidenote: most hilarious (unintentionally) scene from The Birth of a Nation: when the heroine finds out her fiance is in the KKK because she takes his laundry from him and his frickin' KKK hood falls out. Awkward! 

-Django, when you're finally reunited with your wife with the news that you've come to rescue her, catch her when she faints. Jeez. 

-With all the violence, the scene that was most wrenching to me was when Moguy prepares Broomhilda's bill of sale as the harp is played. A young woman's fate - either to live with her husband in freedom or be sentenced to a life of rape and abuse - is resolved over some paperwork she has no say in.

-I thought Candie's bullet-through-the-flower death would have been a lot more powerful if we hadn't seen a very similar bullet-through-a-Bible-page death earlier. 

-Quentin Tarantino's cameo was distracting. Was this the role Sacha Baron Cohen dropped out of at the last moment, so maybe Tarantino was like, "Fine, I'll just do it myself!"? 

-I was happy to see Broomhilda riding Schultz's horse Fritz at the end. Glad Django didn't forget about Fritz! 

Other Views:
Black Audiences, White Stars, and Django Unchained - Ishmael Reed
Why Samuel L. Jackson's "Uncle Tom" is Tarantino's Best Character Yet - Aisha Harris
Faster, Quentin! Thrill! Thrill! - Roger Ebert
In Defense of Django - Adam Serwer
The Black Woman's Guide to Coping with Django Unchained - Gina McCauley

Les Miz Movie Rambling

I'm fine; the bullet bounced off my corset.

So the Les Miserables movie musical finally came out, and to deservedly mixed reviews. The songs were pretty chopped up (most noticeable and damaging in "Confrontation," "Master of the House," "Look Down," "Plumet Attack," and "One Day More," in my opinion), but the sets looked great. Honestly, there was never any way crowds weren't going to come out en masse for this, and it was perfect for a Christmas pastime. Was it an instant classic? No. Did I cry? Yes. Multiple times? Yes.

Should have gotten Neil Patrick Harris and Jason Segel to coach this scene.

To get this out of the way: yes, Anne Hathaway was good. I wasn't in the "Anne Hathaway = best Catwoman ever!" camp, but man, did she give a great performance here. While I agree with a lot of Mick LaSalle's criticism regarding what happens when they make the showstopping songs intimate and whispered, I disagree with what he says about Hathaway's "I Dreamed a Dream." When she got to "but there are dreams that cannot be,/ and there are storms we cannot weather," you could hear the entire theater scrounging around for their Kleenex.

I thought Samantha Barks's "On My Own" was near perfect: belted, passionate...and still on a scale that worked for the film. But then, girl knows what she's doing. (I think the grit that Lea Salonga brings to Eponine still makes hers my favorite, though.) BTW, love this quotation from Barks from this interview: "I can't believe I actually spat in Ali G's face!"

When Eponine says "don't rob the house," don't rob the fucking house.

I love ethereal siren/angel/ghost-creature Amanda Seyfried, but there's not much to do with the role of Cosette. Ditto for ultimate trustafarian Marius. I told my mom immediately after the movie ended that I thought Eddie Redmayne sounded like Kermit, and she thought I was crazy. All the reviews seemed to love him, and I thought maybe I was just biased, but then...validation!

Congrats to Mrs. Lovett for finding a husband who's far more cheery than Sweeney Todd yet has the exact same morals and fashion sense. Seriously, never eat anything Helena Bonham Carter has cooked.

One day Tim Burton is going to wake and find that Helena Bonham Carter, Sacha Baron Cohen, Alan Rickman, and Johnny Depp have all left him for Tom Hooper.

When Javert started throwing punches at the ABC guys, all I could think was, "fightin' 'round the world!"

Sure, Tugger could have saved him from the Seine, but we
know how Tugger feels about Russell Crowe's singing.

Javert putting the medal on Gavroche's corpse was sort of maudlin and didn't really feel true to where his character was at the point (still cried, though). It also annoyed me a little bit since Eponine's corpse was right there, and in the novel she's the dead person he recognizes in a quick flash of humanity, and hey, if you're going to go back to the book and have Fantine's teeth ripped out... But I guess in the context of the musical/movie Javert and Eponine haven't really had any interaction, while Javert and Gavroche have.

Even with Hugo's lengthy history of the Parisian sewers and ruminations on how much it blows to drown in poop, I was somehow not prepared for the OH MY GOD THEY'RE IN POOP scene where Valjean rescues Marius. Valjean needs a "world's best dad" mug, 'cause carrying your daughter's boyfriend through rivers of poop to get him to safety is really above and beyond.

As annoying as I find the Marius/Cosette nuptials, I loved in the novel how Marius's grandpa and Valjean get so, so, so into wedding planning. If Marius's grandpa had grabbed Cosette's hands and squealed, "DRESS SHOPPING!!!" it would have taken the movie into Mamma Mia! territory, but it also would have been pretty true to the book.

Joker and Harley Quinn's biggest rivals at Villain Prom.

Yeah, they're terrible people, but when Thenardier led his wife away by the hand after they were kicked out of the rich kids wedding, it made me sad to think that in the novel, Madame Thenardier has died in prison by that scene.

Eponine's part in the "Come to Me" reprise was axed. What gives? I mean, yeah, it's kind of weird for a dying man to be visited by the spirit of the girl who had a crush on his son-in-law, but still.

Heaven = being in an Occupy Paris camp? Forever? I hope they get to stroll around the Luxembourg and have some pain au chocolat at some point.

Notre-Dame de Paris Pity Party

A movie musical? Oh, like Mamma Mia? That's cute, I guess.

Everyone* is super psyched about the movie adaptation of the Les Miserables stage musical that's coming out on Christmas. I'm psyched. I've been psyched for a while. I am crying right now because I am not currently watching Sasha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter perform "Master of the House." There is even an advent calendar!

*Correction: Grumpy Cat is not psyched about Les Miserables.

But as excited as I am, I can't help feeling a little sad for other Victor Hugo novel, Notre-Dame de Paris, aka The Hunchback of Notre Dame, of which I am also a huge fan. Everyone's freaking out over Les Miz, and there's Notre-Dame just sitting there abandoned like Quasimodo in the church's free baby bin while no one makes advent calendars for it.

Les Miz is close to my heart, and for me conjures memories of escaping by reading in gardens and cafes during a difficult time. I saw the musical afterwards and have the soundtrack on my iPod. Notre-Dame is a far more recent read for me, and I was surprised by how much it grabbed me. I love them both. However, as much as I love Les Miz, it can kinda be subtitled "How many people have to die so Cosette and Marius can have their boring, bougie wedding?" Spoiler alert: a lot.

I was trying to take a thoughtful picture but it turned out like porn.

Audiences generally want some sort of happy ending, preferably romance-related. Even though almost all of everybody's favorites get killed before the end of Les Miz, Cosette and Marius survive to register at Williams & Sonoma which makes Valjean happy, so...mission accomplished? Meanwhile, Notre-Dame's just like, "yeah, everyone died..." The last few chapters are like Disneyland's Small World ride, except instead of passing by different idyllic but stereotypical scenes of kids holding hands, you pass by scenes of people getting their brains knocked out, dying from shock, being hanged, getting tossed off cathedrals, starving to death in a pile of corpses, etc. It is basically Joss Whedon's fondest dream.

So Les Miz has a supposedly happy ending and advent calendars and Grumpy Cat memes and Anne Hathaway method acting by dying of TB, but does it have a scene where a guy and a girl are having a sex in a hotel room and the girl's pet goat is also in the hotel room and then a second guy whom the first guy allowed to watch the sex stabs the first guy during the sex? Spoiler alert: it does not.

Obviously the choice centerpiece scene for Auguste Couder's 1833
Scenes tirees de Notre-Dame de Paris.

Notre-Dame also has the most beautiful man/goat relationship ever written (same goat as above). While struggling writer Pierre Gringoire's fake marriage to Esmeralda doesn't net him any sex, it does gain him custody of the little white trick-performing goat, Djali. The goat becomes Gringoire's dearest friend (not that high a bar - Frollo was his only friend previously) and he is certain she shares his feelings. Like Esmeralda, Quasimodo, and Frollo, Djali too is accused of being the devil (man, the 1400s were rough), but survives and gets the story's sole happy ending: a daring escape and new life with Gringoire.

Yeah, Phoebus and Fleur-de-Lys get married, but that happens off-scene and everyone knows he's going to cheat on her anyways (he was the stabee in the hotel sex scene).

FYI, Esmeralda is not generally topless.
Also her necklace is supposed to have a shoe on it.

Notre-Dame also has Jehan Frollo du Moulin in its corner. Jehan is Frollo's spoiled little brother/"other" kid, who always gets cut out of adaptations, which is too bad, because he is hilarious. Jehan is nothing like the rest of his family. While Frollo and Quasimodo are content to stay inside the cathedral to do their alchemy/bell-ringing, Jehan is a loud, obnoxious extrovert. His main activities are drinking, bullying, and hitting up a frustrated but enabling Frollo for money. When the gypsies rise up to take Esmeralda from Notre-Dame, he joins the fight on a whim and is promptly killed by his adopted brother Quasimodo. But hey, at least unlike Les Miz's Grantaire, he manages to not be passed out drunk through his book's central uprising. This is actually a pretty huge accomplishment for Jehan.

Jehan just being Jehan.

See? Notre-Dame de Paris has lots of cool stuff, Les Miserables. It doesn't need your star-studded premieres or forthcoming Oscar statuettes. In fact, once Frollo cracks the riddle of alchemy, they can have all the solid gold Oscar statuettes they want!

And to be honest, Notre-Dame being the forgotten sibling to Les Miz seems to be an American/British (or just English-speaking?) issue. Notre-Dame, from what I could see during my trips to France, is a bigger BFD in France. The Maison de Victor Hugo is scant on Les Miz artifacts, but full of awesome Notre-Dame stuff like the above Couder panel, early editions, and this poster:

It was in a stairwell and also I am a terrible photographer, ok?
Quasi's at the top, then we've got Frollo, Djali, Esmeralda, Phoebus,
and Jehan being drunk in the background.

The big reason Les Miz is so popular in America is definitely the musical (you think all the people psyched for Les Miz have slogged through Hugo's Waterloo and sewer lectures?). It's a great musical. And it's in English. Notre-Dame became a record-breaking, wildly popular (and more modern) musical in 1998, but it's in French, so we don't get much of it here. Maybe if a subtitled movie musical is made of that musical, we can get some Notre-Dame fever stateside. There is a subtitled DVD (je ne comprends pas bien francais?) I'm trying to track down, but fortunately some of it, like any recorded thing, is on Youtube. Here is the signature song, "Belle," in which Quasimodo, Frollo, and Phoebus creep on Esmeralda while sounding amazing:




So obviously Notre-Dame is doing just fine in its home country. And hey, Notre-Dame de Paris is the novel of outcasts! While Fantine is raiding Lady Gaga's prop room for premiere press is the perfect time for Notre-Dame to be tragically relegated in the secure yet cold embrace of the cathedral's walls.


Images:
Etchings: various public domain, both accredited to Gustave Brion thought not sure about the first
Grumpy Cat: all the majesty of the universe and the internets
Statue: Esmeralda and Her Goat by Antonio Rossetti
Painting & poster: my own terrible photos from the Maison de Victor Hugo in Paris