Bye, Kids: Thoughts on the Young Avengers Afterparty

Do you even go here?

Disclaimer: I really did love Young Avengers. It was great in a lot of ways, and I want to get the trades and cradle them to my bosom. I just was not crazy about the way they handled the ending.

The epilogue of Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie's Young Avengers was split into two issues (#14 came out on Dec. 18 and #15 came out yesterday) dubbed the "afterparty," and honestly, I'm not sure it was a great choice. Maybe it would have worked better as a single long (but stilled pared down) issue, as two low-key, repetitive issues spaced weeks apart kinda deprived the series of its "oomph." Rather than being a snappy, satisfying, Austen-style wrap-up, this dragged a bit. Billy and Teddy's relationship is fine, which we knew. Noh-Varr and Kate's relationship is over, which we knew. America is gay, which we knew. Loki's having an existential crisis, which we knew. No one cares what happened to Tommy, which we knew. Oh, and he's back, and Kate's dating him again, even though that sounds like the most aggravating punishment a person could inflict on herself. (Why was he in this series, again?)

By the time Noh-Varr rambles on about his romantic and Earth-related choices again and Loki half-heartedly hits on David and Patriot arrives and is still mysterious for whatever reason and the gang is like, "well, I guess we'll go on another adventure or whatever," I just wanted Loki: Agent of Asgard to start and kick some life back into at least one of these characters. We know he gets to go to Paris, at least, so hopefully things for him look up after he ditches the drab party.

Another questionable choice was the use of guest art. While the art was good, and some of it wonderful, this is our big "goodbye" to the characters, and since McKelvie's art has been so key to the series, it was jarring to have the many different looks here (the multiverse arc would have been an awesome place for this). Of these two issues, I think it worked best in America's section in YA #14. Christian Ward's bright, star-studded look felt right for the story of America's childhood in another dimension's utopia, and I loved how the watercolor look started playful, became frenzied with angst and rage, and then muddied into disappointment and resignation.

America leaves her princess-superhero wonderland.

Ok, so that was almost all kinda negative. What did I like besides the America part?

-Kate and America's banter.

-Noh-Varr walking around shirtless and with headphones, especially by Annie Wu and Jordie Bellaire.

Damn, girls. Nice work.

-Learning Loki tips service workers well. Looks like he stopped by his parents' for some funds. Did he ever pay back Billy for covering his diner tab, though?

"No, I don't know what happened to the treasure chest, Moms. God!"

-David's face when Patriot violates his personal space (Joe Quinones's work).

New best reaction image.

So, it wasn't a great ending, but it was a great series. Witty, fun, pretty, inventive. Seamlessly diverse. Even if Gillen and McKelvie are done with this story, I hope what they've built here lives on. I want to see America wrestle with her past and be awesome. I want to see Noh-Varr grow as a person. I want to see David be super smart and stylish. And I especially want to see all these characters interact again. I hope Loki and Kate text their friends some invites for Loki: Agent of Asgard (out Feb. 5) and Hawkeye (#16 out Jan. 22).

Lunch is on Kate and Loki, since they're the only ones with jobs now.

Young Avengers #13: We Are Noh-Varr Ev-arr Getting Back Togeth-arr

Being punched by Miss America is a privilege.

Lucky number 13! Only two issues left after this! 

What happened?

A bunch of expository banter with other young Marvel heroes we don't care about happens for one whole excruciating page, but then we are blessedly reunited with our main bunch, who are busy fighting Mother and the exes. Sadly, we're immediately met with hot, hipsterish, dashing, but cadish Noh-Varr breaking up with Kate in favor of evil, S&M-themed Oubliette. I feel for them both. Kate deserves smarter and Noh-Varr was probably never going to be a long-term thing. Noh-Varr is like the most beautiful purebred yellow lab ever who also loves 60s girl groups and probably shouldn't be left to make decisions for himself.

Pat, pat.

But then we get the big revelation. Leah and the rest of the exes were Sorta-Kid-Loki the whole time! Obviously this raises a lot of questions, but I think the most important point is that it was actually Sorta-Kid-Loki, and not Oubliette, who convinced Noh-Varr via sexting to shave off his beard, and he is a goddamn hero. At Loki's confession that he's been manipulating them all along to control Billy's cool demiurge power, all the exes disappear, making Kate and Noh-Varr's in-battle break-up just that much more awkward. Loki cries on the floor and once again makes someone the offer of killing him (this time America instead of Thor) and is once again denied. Which is good, at least for the moment, because he's the only one who can save Teddy from being a chair.

Kate is a natural at delegation.

Teddy saves Billy, and thus everyone, with true love. Billy defeats Mother and checks out his new universe-controlling powers in an imaginative spread.

Actually, you're just departing editor Lauren Sankovitch's replacement.

The universe is saved, Billy is reunited with his parents, and Loki, feeling shame for perhaps once in his various lives, Mary Poppins/Gokus it out of there on a cloud.

And Tommy?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Random Notes:

-So...what about the Leah the gang saw in the multiverse? She's just kinda...hanging out? I hope this gets resolved within the next two (final) issues. I think I trust Gillen to not leave her hanging. I mean, she's not Tommy.

-America finally gets the blood-spattered punch-fest she's been waiting for all series.

-Loved the clever credits at the end to help clear up any confusion.

"Dear Noh-Varr, sorry the ghost of the good half of myself that I murdered sexted you."

 -Despite everything, Billy still introduces Loki to his parents (or tries to) as his friend. Billy, that is either really sweet or really stupid. Or both. I guess practicing magic with potato chips really bonds people.

-Nice segue for Loki for Loki: Agent of Asgard. We know from writer Al Ewing that in that forthcoming series he is trying (for reals!) to be better and is back with his mom, stepmoms, and Thor, and Young Avengers is setting that up nicely.

What's next?

Young Avengers #14 will be out on December 18. And then the book's finale, Afterparty, will be out in January. I'm gonna miss these kids. :'(

Like you totally didn't copy his hairstyle.

Young Avengers #12 and Afterlife With Archie #2: Kids in Costumes Have it Hard

Archie isn't so wholesome in this Tim Seeley variant.

It's was a busy Wednesday for young people in peril! Both Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie's Young Avengers #12 and Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa and Francesco Francavilla's Afterlife With Archie #2 came out today. AWA 2 had actually sold out on the shelves by the time I got to the comics shop at 1:30, but a kind clerk found me a variant behind the register. Hero.

Let's start with YA 12...

...cause Leah wants to finish this hand.

What happened:

With the adults still under Mother's control, the Young Avengers have no choice but to go forward with David's plan of attacking the parasite and her army using every teenesque Marvel character he could scrounge up. The league of evil exes know of this plan, and are pretty sure it ain't no thing, but also aren't going into battle unprepared. Leah and Fake Patriot examine tarot cards while maintaining excellent posture, and Oubliette gets a killer poison manicure.

Our team, on the other hand, is not totally, completely confident in this endeavor. Noh-Varr and Kate fret (Noh-Varr while glancing at selfies of Oubliette), Loki does some literal-and-otherwise handholding with Billy, and David is coolly pragmatic and not optimistic.

"Only together can we survive this chick's shitty iPhone photos."

Once again we're reminded that Loki and America both know something about Billy that neither he nor we know. We also go back to the storytelling themes Gillen explored in Journey Into Mystery. "He can't die," says Loki. "This story has a happier ending than that." "His story," America reminds him.

Girl, you're in a Gillen book.

And then...the battle begins! The army of Marvel bit characters fights the other dimensional army, hoping that maybe, just maybe, they'll get picked up for a future Young Avengers story. Meanwhile, our heroes take on Mother and the exes, giving McKelvie another excuse to have a ball with form and composition.

And then! Gillen starts unveiling one of his twists. While squaring off against Loki, Leah brings up his early conversation with Teddy about the power of reality warpers and wishful thinking...and then she seems to merge with Sorta-Kid-Loki. It's probably useless trying to guess, as I'm always wrong, but to ruminate...perhaps Kid Loki is finally getting his revenge?  He did change. He did win. Somehow? Because Loki's guilty conscience wished it so? In this interview with Al Ewing who will be writing the forthcoming Loki: Agent of Asgard series, he says Loki's greatest fear is "sliding back into his old persona, getting trapped again in an endless cycle of fighting superheroes and getting beaten by them - especially after everything he did to escape that cycle." That certainly sounds like Kid Loki, who in the JIM finale begged Thor to kill him if he ever turned evil. Maybe Kid Loki or Sorta-Kid-Loki is finally getting his (sexier) body back, or at least will be more equitably sharing it with Loki-Loki? I'll stop now since this is turning into the end of that Louis CK skit on "Why?"

Was the kidnapped Tommy rescued or mentioned?

No.

What's next:

Tragically, we only have three more issues of Gillen and McKelvie's Young Avengers, which Gillen writes about a little here. As aforementioned, extreme prodigal son Loki will be returning to Asgard as a secret agent for his mom(s) in Loki: Agent of Asgard, which comes out in February 2014. Will he finally get that cool car? At first I was a little nervous to see a writer other than Gillen take the reins on Loki, but hey, that's mainstream comics, and the interviews with Ewing have been encouraging. I hope Loki stays in touch with America, Kate, et al.; the chemistry in this little group was great. We'll always have noodles and revolutionary moon kisses, right? :'( 

This looks good 'cause it's from Francavilla's twitter.

That panel's so damn pretty I couldn't bear to use my crappy iPhone pic. All right, so, moving on to a different set of endangered kids. With the Archie Comics world pretty stagnant since the 1940s, minus the recent and welcome addition of gay teen Kevin Keller, the announcement that there would be a serious horror Archie book was a surprise. Afterlife With Archie #1 was a smash hit, and Aguirre-Sacasa and Francavilla impressed critics and Archie fans alike with their ability to stay true to the Archie mythology while ruthlessly twisting its conventions.

We already saw scenes of horror (a mouthless Sabrina exiled by her aunts) and violence-with-consequences (a jealous Moose beat up Reggie as he's done for decades, but this time it led to a dazed Reggie running over and killing Hot Dog) in the first issue. In AWA 2, the creative team shows us just how much leeway they've been given by opening the issue with a scene of emotional incest between rich twins Cheryl and Jason Blossom.

In "dead Raggedy Ann and Andy" costumes, no less.

It's a little eye-rolling and tawdry as a way to shock, but whatever, we get it, you're going HBO. The twins wisely decide not to crash Riverdale High's Halloween party after learning that mass cannibalism is taking place inside.

We see some more mature maturity in the interlude, a moody scene set at Pop Tate's. Ginger and Nancy are having a quiet, joyless dinner away from the party. They've been secretly dating (sorry, Chuck), and the closeted nature of their relationship is wearing on Ginger. Nancy isn't ready to come out. It's a pretty typical plot for a gay teen romance, but it gets interesting when they bring up out-and-happy Kevin. "Look in the mirror, Ginger. We're nothing like him," says Nancy. What does she mean? Is she (and the writer) acknowledging that as women of color, their experience of coming out might be different than Kevin's? But their discussion is interrupted the arrival of Jughead's father...who has been zombiefied!

Back at the dance, zombie Jughead has started his rampage, and his first partygoer victim is awkward one-sided love interest Ethel, heartbreakingly naive and sweet in her Snow White costume. When Jughead attacks her, the kids think it's a prank at first, and catch on to what's actually happening at various times, leading to a supremely satisfying moment when Veronica, who has been in all her bitchy, scheming glory, steps up and saves eternal rival/BFF Betty by taking a fire extinguisher to zombie Ethel's head.

Girl went all America Chavez on us.

 A core group of Archie characters - Archie, Betty, Veronica, Reggie, Moose, Midge, Chuck, Dilton, and Kevin - flee the school and make it to Veronica's mansion. ("Mr. Lodge, I've been trying to sneak into your daughter's room for as long as I can remember, and I know what a fortress this place is," says Archie reassuringly.)

But of course, they're not safe yet...

Alas, we don't get the next issue until 1/1/14, presumably because Francavilla fills in all the shadows by hand with half-dead ballpoint pens.

The gang in simpler times, when they were an extremely unprofessional band, what with half the members wandering away and the drummer not showing up until partway through the song:

Young Avengers #11: Loki and Leah Would Be the Hottest Hunger Games Tributes

Just gonna assume McKelvie & Gillen broke Tumblr.

What happened:

MAKEOVERS FOR EVERYONE.

So, Loki doesn't exactly come clean...ok, he doesn't come clean at all, to readers or his teammates, but he sort of fesses up to some relatively minor lies of his. And yet somehow still convinces Billy again to give him power, which either works exactly how he expected or not at all how he expected by giving him a hot new emo-boy teen look, complete with Classic McKelvie Loki black nail polish. He seems to have moved from 14ish to late teens, so now some ickiness can perhaps be avoided if he hooks up with America or also-young-adultified Leah, with whom he is now very matchy-matchy. And he won't have to pretend to have a hormone disorder in order to live it up at clubs with his fake ID.

In other exciting makeover news, Noh-Varr shaves his beard after being mocked by an ex. Also, he's chatting with his exes. Damn good thing Kate isn't pregnant. Don't be a cad, dude.

Anyhoo, they're going to attack Mother again and Teddy's a chair.


What didn't happen:

Saving Tommy, mentioning Tommy, vaguely remembering someone named Tommy exists. Tommy, you are the Egg of Young Avengers.

No, you're so cute, Kate.

Random Notes:

-Hunger Games Leah and Loki are so hot. They can be evil; I don't even care. Work through your differences, you alternative-fashion-loving kids! The only way a villain couple could challenge them in hotness is if The Dark Knight Joker and Arkham City Harley Quinn met up. Those couples should hang out anyways. They have so much to talk about: trickster archetypes, therapist clipboards.

-Did Kid Loki have a grander plan in mind when sending Leah to the beginning of time to protect her from Loki-Loki? If not, he could have at least sent her with herd of dairy cows and the blueprints for a milkshake machine.

-The razor blade panel is the panel everyone's been waiting for. Thanks, Oubliette!

Buh-bye, St. Nick-Varr...sorry...

-Now we don't have to worry about Kate becoming mind-controlled by Mother as long as she...thinks she's young? Is young at heart? Will that even work since Kate tends to be the most mature and motherly of the Young Avengers?

-Not surprised that out of the denizens of Asgard, Fandral's the one who's figured out how to use a cellphone. When you have new maidens to chat up, you adapt.

-What's David up to? David is so cool. I hope he wears a sweater vest again.

-Best makeovers during the series so far: Leah, Billy, Loki, Noh-Varr (Noh-Varr gets points knocked off for growing the beard in the first place).

-I thought it was my imagination at first, but there definitely seems to be an ongoing eyes-in-shadow/eyes-in-light thing going on with Loki-Loki and Sorta-Kid-Loki.

You're just jealous of his jacket.

What's next?

Young Avengers #12 is out in November. Presumably Tommy is not rescued.

Ultimate Nullifier's still here? Oh.

Young Avengers #10 & Afterlife with Archie #1: I Care About Nothing Post-Breaking Bad Edition

"I wanted to leave the runes on the counter...you mewling quim."

I missed doing a recap for Young Avengers #10, which isn't really a problem since I'm just me rambling to myself. It came out on September 25, right in peak Breaking Bad freakout time, and the plights of the fictional denizens of non-fictional Albuquerque occupied all my fictional character headspace. Sorry, Kieron Gillen. Unless Loki and Doctor Doom teamed up to make and sell magical meth (which would be perfect), it just wasn't happening for me.

Anyways, I decided to finally get this up and to group it with Afterlife with Archie #1, out today. This is also related to Breaking Bad, because everything is. The issue is illustrated by Francesco Francavilla, whose  pulpy, noirish work I first saw in Hawkeye. Francavilla is also a Breaking Bad superfan, and he has made minimalist posters for each episode (totally scored one of his limited edition prints of the first episode, bitch). So when I saw he was the artist for a new horror version of the Archie comics I read as a kid, I had to check it out.

Don't do meth, kids.

What happened:

Meta stuff. Loki's been working with Mother, in typical Loki fashion (i.e. in devious ways that serve him and only him well at the moment but add to his ever-growing list of enemies). There's a mention of him "escaping," and we don't know what that means yet. Sorta-Kid-Loki makes a sorta appearance. We also get to see all of Loki's moms, as portrayed by Mother: Jotun queen Farbauti, plus jointly-ruling Asgardian goddesses Freya, Gaea, and Idunn. Props to proudly feminist Gillen and McKelvie for deciding to make the almost-never seen Farbauti a beefcake warrior with icicle hair. Anyhoo, Loki's been messing with Billy's head because of complicated reasons that we'll just have to ride out Gillen explaining in his own special way. And Fake Patriot and Leah are both working with Mother.

Badass.

Meanwhile, Teddy and Leah go to the superhero-exes support group, which consists of Leah, America's ex, Noh-Varr's exes, and, uh, Fake Patriot. Noh-Varr, as everyone already knew, is a Don Juan of space and time. And America's ex, Ultimate Nullifier...oh, honey, why? I just kinda assumed America was into the ladies. Maybe she has realized this too since dating this dude. I do feel he was a little shortchanged, though, since his dialogue is basically clumsily inserted Hipster Ariel. At least Gillen and McKelvie nixed the planned-upon fedora. All we learn about Fake Patriot is that he or she is creepy. Teddy is understandably freaked out by the group and tries to leave, probably to watch Breaking Bad. But he can't, because the group is the kind of malevolent entity that would try to stop you from watching Breaking Bad.

Leah's got a clipboard and Beth Ditto makeup. Watch out.

What's next:

Young Avengers #11 should be out later this month, but I haven't been able to find a release date. Judging from the cover, Loki's in trubs. Or at least naked, since his clothes are burning. And maybe Thor is involved? I can only assume Thor looks so mad in that leaked variant cover because he found out Loki is cooking magical meth with Doctor Doom, probably in an old Skrull spaceship in the wilds of Latveria.

Really, don't do meth, kids.

To be honest, I actually thought this was a comic I'd just buy the first of, mostly to take a gander at Francavilla's art. But I'm hooked! Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa has written an engaging, unsettling comic. The book tackles the most obvious question - zombies in Riverdale? - with aplomb. Jughead's beloved dog Hot Dog is killed, and instead of writing poetry about it like Mary Oliver, he turns to Sabrina, Riverdale's resident teen witch. Against her aunts' orders, she helps Jughead revive his pet...which doesn't go well.

Dogs, don't do meth either.

What I like most about this book (so far) is how true it stays to the Archie canon, and yet how different it is from the Archie canon. Archie Comics have been around since the 1940s, and they've stayed pretty static all those years. No one is ever going to graduate. No one is ever going to change. And Aguirre-Sacasa keeps to those Archie constants (the Betty-Veronica-Archie triangle, the Moose-Reggie-Midge triangle, Jughead loves food, etc) while, with the help of Francavilla's art, casting a dark shadow over them. With inky chiaroscuro and jarring POVs, Francavilla weaves a sense of unease throughout. It's still Riverdale, but it's creepy, creepy, creepy.

So creepy that build-ups to swinging are immediately forgotten.

Big kudos to Francavilla and Aguirre-Sacasa. This could have easily turned into this (which is hilarious, and also features Jughead carrying a bloodied Hot Dog), but it looks like they've got it under control.

Young Avengers #9: I Drink Your Milkshake

Let's see...Jotun Loki, Fascist Kate, Pirate Noh-Varr, and...AHHH CREEPY SKIN MASK LOKI
FROM LIKE GODDAMN SANDMAN OR SOMETHING MCKELVIE WHY???

Young Avengers #9 came out today. And, if you need to catch up, the trade, Young Avengers: Style > Substance, did as well!

What happened:

David explains his Teddy-kiss. He's bi, because of, like, the powers he absorbed or something, and he is crushing on Teddy even though Teddy, like Loki, refuses to wash his damn face. David also joins Loki in the "meddling in Teddy and Billy's relationship" club. Leah and Loki explain why she's in some volcanic hellscape - Loki sent her there to save her from himself - and the rest of the gang is pretty much okay with it. They then round up a bunch of different multiverse versions of themselves to save Teddy and David, and then go back to their own universe and get ramen. Loki and America clearly know more about this whole "Billy is a multiverse god" thing than they're letting on, though America seems pretty peeved about it. Teddy and Billy break up with more Lichtenstein tears. Then later we find Teddy in Texas, where he's commiserating with...Leah! Oh, and the Mother parasite is still out there. And they still haven't rescued Tommy.

Billy and Teddy: incapable of having a fight without creating pop art.

Random Notes: 

-Ok, so they already don't trust Loki that much, and then when he's like, "Oh, yeah, this is my sorta-ex I sent to this barren wasteland to protect her from myself, you know, me, the person with you," everyone's like, "whatevs"?

-Sorta-Kid-Loki's still antagonizing Loki-Loki. I'm rooting for you, kid.

-Bravo to Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie for being all "no1curr" to the homophobic reactions this book has seen. Yeah, some people are upset because they saw gay people on paper. Christina Weir and Nunzio DeFilippis also had this great response to David's kiss with Teddy.

Right on, Billy.

-If eldest Young Avenger Kate becomes an adult while Mother's spell is still intact, she'll be under Mother's control too. Sort of like Codename: Kids Next Door!

-America's pretty pressed about this "Billy is a god" thing. We don't know much about her past. Did he unknowingly usurp her or something? Is she a staunch atheist? Does it have something to do with the death of her parents? Looking forward to more being revealed.

Yeah, and close your mouth.

-Are Kate and Noh-Varr in a rough patch? It's probably because of your beard, stupid.

-Another mystery to be revealed: who is Fake Patriot? I almost forgot that's why they were running around beautifully detailed set pieces.

-Leah's (still) back! And she still loves milkshakes, the irresistible beverage Loki introduced her to! What's she doing back in the American southwest? What is this support group she and Teddy are talking about? A group for people accidentally screwed over by their magical boyfriends?

I love Leah's puffed-sleeve dresses. Eat your heart out,
Anne of Green Gables. 

-Along with the milkshake, Leah's closing line, "We all get to write our own happy ending," echoes back to the storytelling themes of Gillen's run on Journey Into Mystery.

What's next:

Looks like Mother's back in Young Avengers #10, out September 25. In this Young Avengers #12 preview, it looks like Leah's stuck around, but the cover is Lokiless! And that's after Young Avengers #11, which looks...ominous. Ugh, Gillen's such a tease. But seriously, if they off Loki just for so they can lol at fans' angst, I'll stop reading (even though I already said that after Journey Into Mystery). Come on, Gillen. Just let the poor kids buy a milkshake night club and have small business owner battles with Mary Jane.

Leah, Loki, and a milkshake in Journey Into Mystery #639

Young Avengers #8: Noh-Varr is Buff Santa Claus and Loki Gets a Shock So Big His Tiara Falls Off

Did Loki break his hand on Miss America's thigh?
Boy, you don't play punch-buggy with Chavez.

Deep breaths, fandom. Deep, deep breaths. You're only spurring Gillen on with those screams.

What happened:

The Young Avengers have set out to the multiverse to rescue Tommy which has been very traumatic and Noh-Varr grew a beard. The beard was in this issue's preview, when artist Jamie McKelvie mentioned it on Twitter, there were mixed reactions. I didn't mind, because I thought, "Haha, in one of the dimensions there's an older alterna-Noh-Varr who has a beard." But no. Our Noh-Varr. Our Noh-Varr has a beard. No. Kate, make him stop. You can't be dating a buff Santa Claus.

Cash would also hate your beard, Noh-Varr. Everyone does.

Moving on, there's a nice little callback in the opening pages, as the team is having Korean in the same New York restaurant where America threw Loki through a wall, only in an alternate universe New York where the cars fly (America's still not allowed in the restaurant though). After dinner, they continue the search for fake-Patriot, landing in a hellscape with Noh-Varr's ex and then a world with cute little Pokemon-type aliens who seem to think Billy is their god. For some unspoken reason, Loki and America are not okay with this, and then they move on to...the Mother Parasite's dimension! Loki has rescued Teddy and Billy from there before, and as then, it's a meta comics-world of white panels. Oh my God. It's Aha's "Take On Me" video. Isn't it, Gillen???

America gets almost everyone out except for David and Teddy, meaning Teddy and Billy are TRAGICALLY SEPARATED. But who's this in the dimension most of the Young Avengers are in? It's LEAH! I was hoping for her when Gillen said that issue #8 would make Journey Into Mystery fans "scream," and I'm both excited and wary about her return. "Who is Leah?" you might ask if you didn't read JIM. She is Loki's mythological daughter's severed hand. But she and Loki aren't related by blood, which is good, since she and Kid Loki were in the very buds of young love. Also, there are kinda two versions of her. And...stuff happened. Bad stuff. It's complicated. Anyways, her presence is rather ominous, but I'm hoping that she's not just a few-issues villain, because she's an awesome character, she and Loki were great together, and I think she and America could be sharp-tongued, Loki-dominating BFFs.

I <3 you, gurl, please don't kill everyone.

Meanwhile, in the Mother Parasite universe, David and Teddy decide to fight the Mother Parasite to the death, and then...DAVID KISSES TEDDY. Is it part of a master plan? Was David just really hot for Teddy? Will Leah kill everyone? If so can she please shave Noh-Varr's face first so he doesn't die as Buff Santa Claus?

Random Notes:

-Kudos, as always, to McKelvie for his art. This visually lush issue must have been especially challenging, and the cover is an instant classic.

-Where is Kate keeping her journal?

-Loki cries in the universe where it appears he conquered Asgard and then he and his family died. Crocodile tears, or is sorta-Kid-Loki still in there?

-Kree: the British of the multiverse.

-Loki has an ROUS moment.

-Loki is also the king of distractions.

Disappointed we don't get Teddy and Billy's expressions here.

-Nice touch with Kate playfully pushing Loki's crown (Or is it a tiara? Is tiara gender-neutral?) askew in the first pages and Loki's crown flying off when he jumps back in surprise upon seeing Leah near the end.

-I don't know what David's up to, but, Teddy, he's pretty smooth. And hasn't made dramaface once yet. Just sayin'.


What's next:

After being spoiled this month with bi-weekly issues, we have to wait a whole month for Young Avengers #9 to come out on August 28. It is about Teddy being sad on a chaise lounge.

And farther in the future...the fact that Loki isn't on the promotional art for the end of this "season" of Young Avengers worries me. His crest is on the club's sign, though, so maybe he buys the place from Mary Jane and is boozing it up inside.

Young Avengers #7: Sinnerman, where you gonna run to? (Spoilers)

Wow, Billy, big enough cape?

Ok, so Zaphod and Ford Prefect weren't at the space diner, but I didn't cry, because this issue was that good. Even without the universe's most awesome cousins. I'm on the road right now, but I've had travel/comic-book-Wednesday conflicts before, and it hasn't stopped me. (BTW, if you're ever in Paris and need a comic book, Album Comics in the Latin Quarter's your place.)

People lived in the Hotel de Cluny in 1334,
but they didn't have comic books.

What happened?

The issue opens with a group of young Skrulls who seem tantalizingly close to bursting into "Greased Lightning." But before they can even work out who's going to be Kenickie and who's going to be Danny, their fun is ruined by the Young Avengers! A skirmish ensues, and in Scooby-Doo fashion we learn that the "Skrulls" are not Old Man Jenkins but some Voldemortesque aliens called Skifflefuffles. No one has heard of them. Suspicious. But the Young Avengers find these appropriators of Skrull culture pretty lame, so they go to get breakfast.

While they head off to the diner, we learn what the Young Avengers have been up to via a characteristically clever narrative device involving Loki's social media. It turns out that Kate, Noh-Varr, Teddy, Billy, America, and Loki have been having a pretty good time: celebrating Teddy's birthday, attending concerts on the moon, forming their own in-jokes, etc. They're comfortable together now. Kate and America spar, Loki tutors Billy in magic, and Noh-Varr and Teddy talk relationships and mind-control saliva.

The Young Avengers troll the GOP.

At the diner, they are met with - in the most suave way possible - David/Prodigy, whom we saw last issue. David has come to our heroes for help finding his friend-by-force, Tommy/Speed. Since Tommy is Billy's kinda brother, this gives Billy a dramaface opportunity. The group goes to the site where not-Patriot kidnapped Tommy, and since they'll have to travel through the multiverse to rescue him, America reveals that she is actually Jem.

Truly outrageous!

Random Notes:

-The diner menu credits page was extra cheeky and fun. Oh, you guys.

-Loki's still addicted to his Starkphone. I really want to know what happened with Kate battling the girls' finishing school.

-Noh-Varr and Tommy have GOT to party together.

-How effing stylish is David? I'm starting to see why guys keep taking him out for noodles and giving him gloves. But why couldn't he contact the Young Avengers via Loki's Instagram?

-The Nina Simone thing was the best.

My name isn't Peaches, but Noh-Var can call me
whatever he wants.

What's next?

The much-anticipated multiverse storyline starts with Young Avengers #8, out July 24.

Young Avengers #6: Guys Keep Giving Prodigy Noodles and Gloves and Stuff (Spoilers)

What happened:

Nothing. Just kidding. For the most part. I read this on the bus and wasn't that into it, but I think that was maybe me being reactionary and missing the usual YA crew, because I liked it more when looking it over again. However, it's quite the change of pace after months of our other heroes' battling their dead parents and exchanging witticisms. In fact, we saw nothing of our usual gang (Wiccan, Hulkling, Hawkeye, Noh-Varr, Miss America, and Loki). Presumably they're all admiring Billy's on-trend and fandom-igniting new outfit and still deciding on where they can go that isn't New York, New York; Broxton, Oklahoma; or Boulder, Colorado. Lagos, Nigeria? Reykjavik, Iceland? Bakersfield, California? Maybe they're in the back room of some club and Loki's teaching them all to snort coke. We don't know.*

Yeah, he's definitely bullying Wiccan and Hulkling into trying coke.

Anyways, the main idea in this issue is pretty clever and fun: boring jobs for superheroes. We start with Prodigy in a deliberately repetitive series of panels, trouble-shooting for a superhero hotline. I've worked in a call center, David. I feel your pain inflicted by that relentless ring and the confused and combative people it precedes. Then Tommy a.k.a. Speed, or possibly Dragon Ball Z's Trunks, appears. He works at the same place David does, but puts contraptions together very quickly and while hating it. Tommy pretty much forces David to become his friend, and they get noodles and coffee. We get some backstory on the endless Mutant drama. Then there's a break-in, someone's pretending to be Patriot, Tommy gets punched in the head and disappears, and David refuses to wear fake-Patriot's glove. The end. Oh and fake-Patriot's invisible.

"Give me the full Trunks. I want the hair, the jacket..."

Random Notes:

-Kate Brown's art is pretty and has great detail. It's playful, but maybe a little too playful with Tommy, who seemed to be in his very own teen comedy manga.

David, kindly, does not mention this.

-Tommy is sort of grating, but...that's kind of the point? He's a border collie/lab mix on caffeine. Best line: "Last night, I was on a podium, waving my shirt around my head, and a sudden thought came to me..."

-David has a call center job. He thinks he is going to be able to retire someday. ...How's the economy in the 616? Can I work there?

-"You just can't help ninjas."

-"I want you naked, now. Not in a sexy way."


What's next:

Young Avengers #7 is out July 10. Yay for not having to wait so damn long!

*from the preview for YA #7, it looks like they decide to visit a diner in space. If this is true and they don't run into Zaphod and Ford Prefect, I will cry.