Dream Cast - Wuthering Heights

I wish we were together, enjoying nature and pwning noobs.

I don't ask for much. Just for a Wuthering Heights miniseries exactly to my liking. I say miniseries because Emily Brontë's 1847 novel is really too much story, with too many characters aging from childhood to adulthood, to fit into a movie. Try to pack it in 90-120 minutes, and you end up with weird compressions of time that result in adult Heathcliff and Cathy crawling around in bushes to spy on neighbors. And/or with the movie simply ending with Cathy's death.

After being displeased with various adaptations, I've brainstormed my ideal cast to act in my ideal miniseries format. These are only the adult versions of the characters, however. I'll leave some dream child actor casting agent to cast that part of my dream cast. I can delegate in my dreams.

Heathcliff - Oscar Isaac 

Heathcliff and race has always been a thorny issue. In Brontë's novel, although he later has a blond son, Heathcliff himself doesn't seem to be white: characters throw around Indian, Indian-Chinese, Spanish, and from the Americas in general as suggestions for his background (he doesn't speak English when found as a small child, so no one knows). In practice, Heathcliff mostly gets cast as a brunet white guy. (As a notable exception, Andrea Arnold's 2011 movie version has a black Heathcliff.) It would be great to see an Asian or Latino actor finally get this iconic role. Far from being the complained of "forced diversity," it would seem to be what the author intended.

I'd cast dynamic hearthrob Oscar Isaac, of Guatemalan and Cuban parents, as Heathcliff. He has an impressive resume, and this role would let him dig into a tortured psyche. Really tortured. Heathcliff isn't simply a "bad boy" romantic hero type - he's cruel, dangerous, and vengeful. Incapable of a healthy relationship, he instead has an obsessive codependency with Cathy that continues even after her death. We're talking spending quality time with her long-dead corpse levels of obsession. As far as he's concerned, he and Cathy are the only people on Earth; everyone else is disposable (except maybe Hareton later on).

I trust in Oscar Isaac to tackle the acting challenge of catching a falling baby and then looking furious and disappointed because it's his mortal enemy's baby and it would have been great revenge to let it go splat.

I would also consider: Dev Patel. Dude's grown up nicely.

Catherine Earnshaw/Linton - Emily Blunt

A dark-haired beauty who wants to be a wild nature girl forever? I think the range of Emily Blunt, who can play prim fashionistas and rugged FBI agents with equal aplomb, is perfect for the role, which requires haughty poise punctuated with fits of violence. Cathy manages to mostly pass as a fine lady of the English countryside for a few years, but not without bouts of depression. She doesn't want to be a model wife and mother - she wants to gallop around on horseback with soul mate Heathcliff and pinch and kick the hell out of people when she's angry.

I would also consider: Brie Larson.

Nelly Dean - Shirley Henderson

Our narrator by proxy, maid Nelly has witnessed and survived all of the dramas of the Earnshaw/Linton/Heathcliff families. Although a servant, she's raised alongside Hindley, Cathy, and Heathcliff. She is Hareton's nursemaid for the first years of his life, Cathy's confidante for life, and the second Catherine's caretaker. Humble but resilient, practical but caring, I could see Henderson (best known as Moaning Myrtle) in this role.

Hindley Earnshaw - Burn Gorman

Cathy's obnoxious older brother becomes cruel when his father favors adopted brother Heathcliff over him. Later he becomes a drunken gambler when his wife dies in childbirth, and his dire financial straits allows Heathcliff to buy Wuthering Heights out from under him. Burn Gorman, half of the German-scientists-without-German-accents duo in Pacific Rim, was fine in the 2009 PBS version, so Burn Gorman it is.

Edgar Linton - Tom Hiddleston

The Linton family owns Thrushcross Grange, the sunny alternative to windswept Wuthering Heights. The family's eldest son - fey, blond, and emotional Edgar - starts out with a lot of the same faults Hindley has. He's whiny and elitist, and Heathcliff is disgusted when Cathy marries him. But unlike Hindley, Edgar rises to the challenge of sudden single parenthood and becomes a loving father. Tom Hiddleston would be perfect to play this proper English gentleman who is prone to tears and learns forgiveness.

I would also consider: Tom Felton. A prejudiced aristocrat who cries? He's got this. Plus, he'd get a reunion with his Hogwarts bathroom buddy.

Isabella Linton - Amanda Seyfried

When Heathcliff returns to town to find foster sister/soul mate Cathy married to Edgar, he begins courting Edgar's naive sister, Isabella. Isabella quickly falls for the handsome and now mysteriously rich Heathcliff, and they elope. Unfortunately, she soon learns she's just a pawn in his revenge scheme. Heathcliff physically and emotionally abuses her, and she runs to the south of England while pregnant.

Catherine II - Mia Wasikowska

This second Catherine is the daughter of Edgar and Cathy. Since Cathy dies shortly after giving birth, Catherine is raised by her doting father and Nelly. While less wild than her mother, Catherine still has a thirst for adventure beyond her family's estate. Unfortunately, her curiosity gets her kidnapped by Heathcliff, who forces her into marriage with her cousin, Linton. Despite Heathcliff's cruelty, Catherine never stops standing up to him. She does, however, understandably start to become mean herself in her miserable surroundings, but is guided back to kindness by Nelly's influence and her growing affection for Hareton.

Wasikowska has already starred as a Brontë heroine (as the eponymous character in Charlotte Brontë's Jane Eyre) and has undertaken other adventurey period roles (Alice in Wonderland, Crimson Peak). She has the right mix of girlishness and grit for this part.

Linton Heathcliff - Tony Revolori

Oh boy, these names get harder and harder to keep track of. Linton Heathcliff is the son of Heathcliff No Last Name and Isabella Linton. He is a sickly, indulged child raised by his mother near London. When she dies, his uncle Edgar tries to take custody of him, but he is thwarted by Heathcliff, meaning it's off to bleak Wuthering Heights with poor Linton. Heathcliff later forces the dying Linton to marry his cousin Catherine, so that Heathcliff can get ownership of Thrushcross Grange when Linton kicks the bucket. Tony Revolori (known for The Grand Budapest Hotel) isn't blond, but whatever.

Hareton Earnshaw - Adam Driver

Heathcliff's biggest act of revenge is taking custody of Hindley's son Hareton and raising him as a profanity-spewing illiterate farmhand, mirroring how Hindley demoted him from heir to servant when their father died. But alas, just as Mr. Earnshaw favored adopted son Heathcliff, Heathcliff favors adopted son Hareton. In fact, Heathcliff's decades-long campaign of revenge halts not due to the deaths of 1) his hated foster brother's wife, 2) the love of his life, 3) his hated foster brother, 4) his own wife, 5) his romantic rival, or 6) his own son, but because Hareton gets kinda sad.

Which is understandable! Hareton's a cutie and no one wants him to be sad! He's a rough-and-tumble guy who can throw down, but he's insecure about his lack of education and is eager to please. Despite his crassness and violence, he's unable to repress his natural kindness (he even tries to befriend annoying Linton). He and Catherine end up bringing out the best in each other: she teaches him how to read, he teaches her how to garden, etc. In the end, dead Heathcliff and Cathy get to haunt Wuthering Heights like they always wanted, and their kids get to live a less creepy life together at Thrushcross Grange.

How could it be made plausible that Poe Dameron is Kylo Ren's adopted father? I dunno. Gray highlights or something? I'm not a make-up wizard. If Dev Patel is Heathcliff, he can get "acting like an old person" tips from all his The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel co-stars.

I would also consider: Aaron Paul. As with Driver, we already know Paul can play a confused and violent young man in the thrall of an abusive father figure.

Who is the best hot farmboy Hareton?

Bonus pic of Hareton, Heathcliff, and one of their many attack dogs about to toss Lockwood (who is too boring to cast) out of Wuthering Heights like the rowdy brutes they are:

Image info:
Header image: Oscar Isaac in Ex Machina, Emily Blunt in Sicario
All headshots from IMDB
Aaron Paul with sheep: Peter Yang for Rolling Stone
Adam Driver with sheep: Annie Leibovitz for Vogue
Adam Driver and Oscar Isaac with Carrie Fisher's dog: Getty Images

Favorites of 2015

Clockwise from top right: Mad Max: Fury Road, South Park, Pericles,
Mr. Burns, Gotham, and Bluebeard's Castle

Not a comprehensive best-of list; just my personal favorites from all sorts of media in 2015.

Books

The sun comes out after a good book.

Billie by Anna Gavalda: It rained all the first day of a family vacation, but I didn't mind, because I'd brought this book. This little gem of a novel (translated from the French) chronicles the relationship between two childhood friends determined to break away from their white-trashy town and make it in Paris. The two stick together through classroom awkwardness, homophobic violence, and a potentially fatal hiking accident - the immediate aftermath of which finds Billie telling their story to a star. Gavalda's skill shines in her use of Billie, an inarticulate girl who's bold but lacking in confidence, as narrator. Like Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage by Haruki Murakami last year, this was just the right book at the right time for me.

Horse Medicine by Doug Anderson: I'm a sucker for dead horse poems. Although that's what first drew me to this book, the collection encompasses Anderson's reflections on not just horses, but religion, war, and aging. My favorite lines come from "What the Angel Said": "Who are you to think/ you will not have to/ live history/ out all the way/ to the consequences/ and beyond?"

Paper-Doll Fetus by Cynthia Marie Hoffman: In this poetry collection, a rock falls in love with a goat placenta, and it makes sense. With fearlessness and compassion, Hoffman dives into the female reproductive system, exploring miscarriages, stillbirths, phantom pregnancies, and the traumas and joys of childbirth. There are poems told not only from the point of view of the aforementioned rock and the titular doomed fetus, but from a strap used to inhumanely restrain laboring women and a lamb who dies shortly after being born. Periods still suck, but I appreciate them a little bit more having read this book.

The Good, the Bad, and the Furry by Tom Cox: Yes, Cox writes cat books about a famous twitter handle, @MYSADCAT, but his books transcend cat books and twitter books. They're thoughtful and funny reflections of the English countryside, parents, nature, music, and yes, cats.

Favorite Old Books I Read or Re-read

King John's Prince Arthur and Hubert in Laslett John Pott's engraving.

Dangerous Liaisons/Les liaisons dangereuses by Choderlos de Laclos: I finally read this French epistolary novel, and despite this being a cliche...yes, something written in 1782 can still be scandalous in 2015. Bored aristocrats the Marquise de Merteuil (a wealthy widow) and her best friend and former lover the Vicomte de Valmont (a bachelor and libertine) manipulate others sexually for fun and revenge. But what starts as a quotidian (for them) ruining of others' lives slowly turns into a battle of wills. Of particular interest are Merteuil's ruminations on the strict gender roles of the time and how she's gotten around them.

Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë: I do a lot of my reading on the bus, and re-reading for the first time since high school this epic about an extended family who needs to get the mix of incest just right in order to heal always made me sad to reach my stop. It's too bad E. Brontë gets accused of romanticizing bad male behavior, because that's not really what's happening. Heathcliff and Cathy are weirdos who need to do their Heathcliff and Cathy thing, not a template for all heterosexual relationships. After reading, I watched three different adaptations (what Wuthering Heights really needs is a mini series that shows all generations at the correct ages) and listened to Kate Bush's song about the novel about a million times.

 King John by Shakespeare: I read this lesser known drama as just another stop on my way to reading all of Shakespeare's plays, for better or worse...but I really liked it and don't see why it isn't performed more. It's basically a less powerful Richard III, but I can see how it would be entertaining on stage. It has a central character audiences are somewhat familiar with (John is the mama's boy lion in Disney's animated Robin Hood), a great comic relief character in Richard the Lionheart's bastard son, a crazy mom meltdown, and a kid talking his way out of a hot poker to the eyes. How is this not a hit?

Movies

Patricia Velasquez leads Liz in September's cast.

Mad Max: Fury Road: This thrilling action movie had style, substance, and heart.

Liz in September: This beautiful tearjerker from Venezuela is the country's first lesbian romance movie.

Tom at the Farm: This tense, arty Quebecois rural noir finally got a limited run in the US.

Cartel Land: The drug cartels of Mexico have been a subject of fascination and horror for years. While 2015 saw fictional characters in Sicario tackle the US's involvement in the violence, Matthew Heineman went on the ground in this documentary about local efforts to quell the reign of terror. The film is an absolute gut-punch, although not in the way you'd necessarily expect: one grassroots group of courageous locals starts out as the lovable underdogs peacefully standing up to the cartels; later, Heineman pans his camera around the now-powerful group's new headquarters as individuals they've detained wait to be tortured. It's a crushing statement on moral corruption and the complexity of fighting evil.

One disputed artistic decision Heineman made was to include scenes of a self-appointed anti-cartel group in the US - basically gun aficionados in camo parading consequence-free around the border. Some critics felt like Heineman was giving this group legitimacy and supporting their cause, but I read the inclusion as ironic. The American group's belief that they're brave soldiers fighting a battle is shown to be a delusion of grandeur when juxtaposed with the citizens of Mexico who are actually dealing with the deadly reality of the cartels.

Theater

Nadine Sierra and Brian Mulligan in Lucia di Lammermoor.

Mr. Burns: A Post-Electric Play - A.C.T.: Anne Washburn's Simpsons-inspired meditation on storytelling and human resolve is one of the most polarizing plays I've seen. Full write-up here.

Swimmer - San Francisco Ballet: Yuri Possokhov, SF Ballet's choreographer in residence, based this ballet on a John Cheever short story. The loose plot is that a philandering businessman swims through neighbors' pools, glimpsing others' lives. But when he returns to his own suburban home, he finds his nuclear family is gone. The piece is a celebration and examination of the American mid-century modern aesthetic, and is visually stunning. However, while the video projections sometimes added a lot, they weren't always necessary (example: in the final scene, it was clear from the dancer's pantomime that he was flailing in the water; the added video footage of a man flailing in water was superfluous).

Pericles - Oregon Shakespeare Festival: I'm so glad I got a second chance to see the play that made Pericles good!

Lucia di Lammermoor - San Francisco Opera: I was lucky to share in a friend's complimentary tickets to this opera with rising star Nadine Sierra (excellent as Musetta in last year's La Boheme at SF Opera). The set for Enrico's office was breathtaking and properly imposing, and the famous "mad scene" was especially visceral.

Other theater favorites this year: Dan Clegg unexpectly stole the show as Edmund in California Shakespeare Theatre's King Lear; Berkeley Rep scored one of the top Eponines, Samantha Barks, for Amelie; and I finally got to see The Book of Mormon!

TV

Mikhail Petrenko and Nadja Michael in Bluebeard's Castle

Great Performances at the Met: Bluebeard's Castle: I caught the second part of this PBS double feature by chance. I turned on the TV, intending to veg out to the hot twins show on HGTV or something else other than a two-person Hungarian opera, but the channel was set to PBS, and the very first frame arrested me. By the end of the day, I had watched several other versions of the opera on YouTube* and added the music to my iPod.

At its most literal, Bluebeard's Castle (by Béla Bartók and Béla Balázs) is about a woman gradually realizing, and finally admitting out loud, that her new husband is a serial killer. But it's also about what we keep hidden within ourselves and the competing desires to deny or investigate in the face of unpleasantness. Mikhail Petrenko's and Nadja Michael's performances; the Met's minimalist yet dramatic staging in black, gray, white, blue, and red; and the skillful cinematography of this stage performance make for an hour that is almost unbearably tense, but too captivating to turn from. 

*Sadly, it looks like there's no DVD of the Met's production available yet. Other productions available on YouTube include Michael Powell's 1963 movie; this modern, noirish version; and the UC Davis Symphony Orchestra's performance (in English).

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Kimmy Schmidt joined the heroines of Mad Max: Fury Road and Room by also escaping her Bluebeard in 2015. While Fury Road told the tale as an action movie and Room used stark realism, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt did a risky take - humor - and succeeded.

Better Call Saul: The prequel is off to a good start with this concise first season. While it shares characters and the gorgeous New Mexico setting with Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul is developing its own brand of dark humor and character drama, and has its own breakout stars in Rhea Seehorn and Michael Mando. A highlight of the season was finally learning what happened with ex-cop Mike in Philadelphia in an episode that ended with a bravura monologue by Jonathan Banks. I'm hoping a future season will reveal the similarly hinted at dark past in Chile of Giancarlo Esposito's Gus.

South Park: South Park continues its high note as it nears drinking age. The satire in season nineteen was topical and withering without over-the-top seething. Targets included both politically correct ideology and reactionary conservatism, online advertising, gentrification (most notably in a stomach-churningly accurate condo commerical), and America's gun lust. And there was a nice break from the heaviness of real-world problems in a meta episode acknowledging one of the curiosities of the fandom: certain fans' obsession with the imagined romance between minor characters Tweek and Craig. The hilarious episode included musical montages set to fanart submitted by viewers.

Gotham: The pre-Batman Batman show hit its stride in the second season, leading with stellar performances by Cameron Monaghan (I will be so mad if Jerome's not in Indian Hill!), James Frain, Erin Richards, and the rest of  the regular cast. The intertwining of Gotham society's underbelly became more insidious than ever: Jim Gordon's relationship with Penguin's criminal enterprise became even deeper steeped in blood, Ed (the future Riddler) and Penguin became murder-buddies and roommates, and Wayne Enterprises was revealed to be working with Arkham Asylum on a series of inhumane medical experiments.

Besides the Jerome thing, my main complaints are the premature end of Sarah Essen and the unremarked upon absence of Renee Montoya. I hope Montoya's back in the second half of season two, which will feature the great BD Wong as Hugo Strange.

Art

A Robert Dighton work from Luminous Worlds

Janet Delaney: South of Market at the de Young: SOMA is probably the best example of San Francisco's gentrification and housing bubble, so 2015 was the perfect year to look at Delaney's photos of the neighborhood as it was in the 70s and 80s.

Luminous Worlds: British Works on Paper at the Legion of Honor: Tucked away in one of the farthest corners of my favorite museum, this exhibition of physically delicate works by Turner, Beardsley, Blake, and more was truly luminous.

Time|less: Kappy Wells, The San Francisco Gallery: Working with sheetrock and charcoal, Wells captured the magnificence of the glaciers we are losing to global warming.